July 8, 2009

Slacker's Manifesto

From the period of time when man first domesticated animals and figured out how to plant simple crops to the time of the industrial revolution, existence was hard. Unless you were a member of the elite class (the nobility, the clergy) you had little free time, and in fact, little free will. Most of you existence was spent in furthering that existence. Men would work in fields all day, their only rest to come at night, and women labored on domestic concerns. The industrial revolution changed that to a point, but for the most part labor and life were divided between the haves and the have-nots. I think a crucial turning point was Henry Ford. This visionary changed life, as we know it. When we think of Ford, we think of a high-quality automobile, but that’s not all Ford did for us. Ford created the assembly line, forging us into the era of mass production, but more importantly, he created the middle class. For the first time, a large group of people existed who were neither slaves nor masters. As a direct consequence of this, many people finally had free time, and free will followed. The majority of the people were finally afforded other opportunities other than living for the continuation of that life. Culture became prevalent, finally the masses could read good books, or see a movie on a day off. Most importantly though, it was not what you could do, but what needed not be done that rose to the forefront. Slacking finally became possible without fear of death. Since slacking is a relatively new “art,” it is not fully perfected. One cannot believe that they have reached a zenith in slacking; we as a culture have been doing it for a little less than a hundred years. I however, do believe there will be further visionaries in the field of slacking, a Plato and Aristotle of slacking if you’ll allow me. I do not know who these people will be, but I hope to be one of the first to acknowledge the art of slacking, and I pray that someday, thousands of years from now, some scholar will translate my works into their language, and ponder just how culturally relevant my thoughts are. I however am less concerned about the future. In the here in now is where I live, and it is too where I will finally attempt to bring slacking into the minds of men. Wish me luck, and may you too, transcend all known boundaries in the art of slacking.