July 8, 2009

Huff ‘n’ Puff

Huff ‘n’ Puff

Characters
• Narrator
• Big Bad Wolf
• Little Pig #1
• Little Pig #2
• Little Pig #3
• Television Announcer


Narrator: One day, while the Big Bad Wolf was watching TV and smoking cigarettes, both things that he loved, the announcer broke in with a news flash…

Television Announcer: The Three Little Pigs Have Just Built A House Of straw On Mistake Street!

Big Bad Wolf :I can’t believe my ears! A house of straw? The three Little pigs?
Ha!
Ha ha ha…
On Mistake street, eh? I’ll say it’s a mistake.

Narrator : He leaped out of his chair and began pacing the room. His mouth began to water.

Big bad Wolf : The thing I love the most in the world-even more than watching TV, even more than smoking cigarettes,- I LOVE the taste of freshly roasted pig. I’m going to get some. I’m going to get some right now.
HA
HA HA HA
HA HA (cough)
Ha (cough) (cough)
(Cough) (Cough) (Cough)

Narrator : A little while later, the Big Bad Wolf was on his way towards Mistake street. He moved quickly, nervously, along the shady side of the street, dodging behind trees and fences. He wanted to surprise the Three Little Pigs. So he was very quiet, except for a few coughs here and there, which he couldn’t help. And he was almost invisible sneaking through the shadows-except for the telltale smoke from his cigarette that floated behind him.

Pig 1: Oh!

Pig 2 : My!

Pig 3 : The Wolf!

Pig 1 : Look at all that smoke…it must be the wolf!

Narrator: Squealing with fright, the pigs fled into the house, slammed the door, and locked it, with two locks. A few seconds later, the wolf pounded on the door.

Big Bad Wolf: Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!

Pigs : Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins.

Narrator: The pigs were squealing in terror, and just then the wolf appeared at the pig’s window, scowling.

Wolf: Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in.

Narrator: So the Big Bad Wolf stepped back, stamped out his cigarette, and took a DEEP breath.

Pig #1: I’m scared.
Pig #2: You too?
Pig #3: doesn’t his breath sound a little rattly and wheezy?
Pig #2: I don’t care, I’m terrified anyway.

Narrator: Then the big bad wolf b-l-e-w out. The three little pigs braced themselves for a big wind. There was nothing, not even a little breeze.

Wolf : (cough) (hack) (gasp) come out you little pipsqueaks. Or I’ll (cough, cough) blow that house to the moon!

Narrator: The wolf took another deep breath. He couldn’t hold onto it, so it came right back as a weak little sputter.

Wolf: pshew!…..oh my, not a straw moved.

Pigs: (giggle, giggle, giggle)

Narrator: Again the Big Bad Wolf huffs and puffs, and tries to suck air into his sickly lungs.

Wolf : (cough, cough, wheeze, rattle)…I am furious!

Narrator: Suddenly the wolf is dizzy and has no breath – from all that smoking. He falls – splat!- right on his long, mean-looking snout. He doesn’t get up. Poor wolf…he’s ruined for blowing houses down. Inside the house, the three little pigs dance to an old favorite.

Pigs: Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

ALL: NOBODY!